Deuces, Ohio!

I’m trying to figure out how my parents have not asked me about my recovery for months. Like, I’m relatively convinced that my parents never believed that I am actually sick. They don’t think I’m really not well; despite attending family night at The Center and attending a family counseling session with my counselor.

In regards to support, my biggest fan Lovie left for Texas two months ago and I’ve been doing surprisingly well. I spent a week or two (or maybe three) in full panic mode because I was still here. After a bit, I stopped actively looking for jobs outside of Ohio. I decided to chill out, accept where I am and stay through the end of the year and then resume my search.

I didn’t think I was running. No matter what Lovie said, I swore I was ready. And it really felt like I was ready, until a month or so ago I knew I was ready. I thought I didn’t give a fuck what people thought before, but then I realized the other day- fuck them! This is my home, too. I refuse to let the chance that I see someone I don’t know keep me from living in it.)

It’s funny how things start to come together when you relax, let go and just be. I have been feeling really content; my pieces are falling into place. I have a great apartment, a job that I don’t love but is pretty fun, easy and pays well, and three awesome cats. (Ok ok, I have way more than that- family that is close, so many amazing, amazing friends to take care of me when I need it.)

So I unpacked the boxes I had packed in my hurry to make some major changes happen. I reorganized my closet, cleaned up the mess my apartment had become, allowed myself to get closer to friends I had started to cut off. I even continued to see Friend and learn that I can meet someone who I genuinely like and want to see on a regular basis. And, to my shock and horror and despite everything I’ve learned and every self-sabotage I tried-I’ve gotten quite attached to him. So attached, in fact, that I think we may become roommates soon; roommates who sleep together, of course, but just roommates.

And I’ve just gotten unpacked, re-settled, content and present when a job opportunity was presented to me. I think the reason I am sure it’s the right choice is because I really thought hard- hesitated, even- before I got excited about the city it was in, the job and the perks of the job. I interviewed and completely dropped the bomb; just something about it instantly felt like I fucked it up. I spent a week feeling that familiar failure, another opportunity that I really thought would be great gone. But I was wrong! Today, I went in for my second interview and nailed it; I will be getting a job offer in the next few days. I can’t wait to get to know my new city and continue my path to getting where I ultimately belong in my industry.

I have to move by November 1, so I guess it’s a good thing I hadn’t had time to get rid of the boxes I unpacked, since I’m going to be loading everything right back up!